List of Things Simon Isn't Allowed to Do
by 1seddiefan
Summary: Since Simon is a human, he has to prank the Shadowhunters, just because. He ends up generating a list of things that he's not allowed to do. At least Simon's list is highly tame compared to Alec's at least. One-shot.


A/N: I guess you can call it a companion piece to List of Things Alec Isn't Allowed To Do, but I think it can be read on its own.

I think the stuff that happened lies somewhere between each book. I'm not sure.

* * *

Maryse walked over to the desk and looked at the objects under the paperweights. There was a new piece of paper that was among three sheets of paper that was stapled.

Among one was was just an innocent sheet of paper that was stapled. The title was: Things Simon Isn't Allowed To Do. She walked up to Simon's list and looked it over.

1\. Simon is allowed to tell other Shadowhunters that Dungeons and Dragons is good for strategy planning.

 _Simon has one now?_ – _Izzy_

 _So, this is how Alec must feel. –Simon_

 _Pretty much._ _–_ _Alec_

2\. Don't write on this list!

 _That didn't stop me. –Alec_

3\. Simon telling young Shadowhunters that Harry Potter is real is highly unacceptable.

 _He did what? –Clary_

4\. Simon telling Shadowhunters that Casual Friday exists, isn't acceptable.

 _I kind of figured that. –Jace_

 _You deserved it. –Alec_

5\. Simon isn't allowed to telling Jace that 'SCPs' exist, isn't funny.

 _I thought it was funny. –Alec_

 _Thanks. –Simon_

6\. Simon giving out towels that turn red when in contact with water isn't acceptable humor.

 _I need these towels to fulfill the evilness inside of me. –Alec_

7\. Regardless what Simon says, Captain America does not exist.

8\. Simon isn't allowed to give out 'code-names' since that is pointless.

9\. Simon isn't allowed to call Alec, Captain Overlord, since that just eggs him on.

10\. Simon call Jace and Clary: Thing 1 and Thing 2 isn't acceptable for code-names.

11\. Simon isn't allowed to buy Jace and Clary matching cheesy couple shirts.

 _Since you say 'buy…' –Simon_

12\. He's not allowed to make matching couple shirts.

 _Not even dragging Alec into it. –Maryse_

13\. Simon's not allowed to play Booya, because Alec can't.

14\. Simon's not allowed to say 'By the power of Grayskull.'

15\. Simon's not allowed to say, 'Blood for the blood god' just because Alec can't.

16\. Simons not allowed to say, 'Skulls for the skull throne' either.

17\. Simon's not allowed to give books written by Lovecraft to Jace and tell him that they're real.

 _It's not my fault that he believed that. –Simon_

 _I know, right? –Alec_

 _You mean they're not? –Izzy_

 _Simon! –Clary_

18\. Simon's not allowed to crack jokes about 'hunting shadows' no matter how badly he wants to.

 _We heard them all from Alec, anyway. –Jace_

19\. Simon isn't allowed to get his school's drama class to dress up in 1940s garb just to see how Magnus react.

 _Simon, what did you do? –Clary_

20\. Simon isn't allowed to go up to Alec and say any variation of, 'I have an idea.'

21\. Simon isn't allowed to show Alec pictures of the spiders that are in Australia.

 _Those are so creepy. –Jace_

 _I didn't know spiders can get that big. –Izzy_

 _Why does Australia want to kill you that badly? –Alec_

22\. Simon isn't allowed to see how fast he runs when Alec shoots at him with an arrow. Yes, he managed to heal fast, but seriously, in his butt cheek?

 _23\. Simon isn't allowed to flirt with Alec just to see how I'll react. It's not funny. –Izzy_

 _I thought it was. –Jace_

24\. Simon isn't allowed to give code-names based off of comic book characters. They don't understand the references, except for Alec.

25\. Simon isn't allowed to say that Growing Up Cullen is very important literature.

26\. Simon isn't allowed to give dares to Alec. We all know that Alec will do anything stupid.

27\. Simon isn't a ninja.

28\. Simon isn't allowed to use 'My evil twin did it,' as an excuse.

29\. Simon isn't allowed to sign up our family for Family Feud.

 _That's actually sounds interesting. –Alec_

30\. Simon isn't allowed to dress up as a vampire for Halloween.

Maryse turned the page to the next sheet and continued where she left off at.

31\. Simon isn't to give Alec one of those tiny cacti things to "brighten up his room."

 _I thought he might've liked one of the sharpest, most dangerous things that I could afford. –Simon_

 _I will talk to it and name it Jace, because it won't listen to a single thing I say. –Alec_

 _How rude. –Jace_

32\. Simon isn't allowed to say, 'according to the prophecy' after ending a questionable sentence.

33\. Simon isn't allowed to tell younger Shadowhunters of his 'magnificent feats' like brining down a terrorist organization, because it didn't happen.

34\. Simon isn't allowed to taunt German Shadowhunters about World War II. Chances are; they won't appreciate it.

35\. Simon isn't allowed to quote movies and claim that he just came up with it.

36\. Just because Alec agreed to it, doesn't make it right, Simon.

37\. Simon isn't allowed to call up spirits because that's why we have Necromancers.

38\. Simon isn't allowed to track down Necromancers. They are very private people and only come around during Halloween, because the veil is thin and Spirits come out.

30\. Simon isn't allowed to give comic books and any variation of them to young Shadowhunters. We don't need a repeat of that thing again.

40\. Simon isn't allowed to call Clary, Izzy, Jace, and Alec the 'Suicide Squad.'

 _But…why not? It sounds bad-ass. –Alec_

41\. Simon isn't allowed to be called Darth Maul or Darth Vader.

42\. Simon isn't allowed to turn his friends into vampires to form his own 'gang.'

43\. Simon isn't allowed to trying to reenact the Romeo and Juliet balcony scene with Izzy.

44\. Simon isn't allowed to saying that the Necromancers are into necrophilia. It's a bad thing to say unless he wants to get a close and personal experience with a deceased person's skeleton.

Maryse paused and shuddered at the mentions of Necromancers. Those people were way to fucking scary enough as it is.

45\. Simon isn't allowed to chair joust with Alec.

 _Simon isn't allowed to chair joust with anyone._ – _Robert_

46\. Simon isn't allowed to call up a radio show and ask them to play songs when going on a hunt.

 _Everyone Was Kung-Fu, anyone? –_ _Clary_

 _Eye of the Tiger?_ – _Jace_

47\. Simon isn't allowed to tell new Shadowhunters that Frankenstein's Monster exists. They will never find it.

Maryse looked at the list and sighed. She took a pen and wrote down one item.

48\. Simon is not allowed to build siege weapons; even if Alec agreed to it.

She flipped the paper over and set it under a paper weight. To be honest, she wasn't expecting Simon to have a bit of a trickster side like that. It wasn't a wonder why Simon and Alec seemed to get along well, once they stopped butting heads. If they ever decide to have a prank-war…oh god.

Maryse wondered if she should make a list for Alec and Simon.

* * *

A/N: I know the rules and guidelines say non-story lists, so I tried my best on making sure that there was at least some story to it, like Maryse writing a number and looking through it.

I think there was a wasted potential on Simon trying to troll the Shadowhunters about certain stuff.

Necromancers is something that I made up. If vampires, werewolves, etc., exist, why not spirits/ghosts?

SCP Foundation is a real website.


End file.
